Two Nerds and a Computer

If you use speakerphone during conversations, you need to be shot in the foot.

If you’re on hold, fine: turn the volume down and do your thing while you wait. That’s the only time you should ever use speakerphone.

If you’re on speakerphone with me, I can’t hear a word you’re saying. If you’re on speakerphone with someone else, I can hear every mind-bending utterance. Both times I want to punch you in the kidney.

So, spare me the aneurysm and yourself the unecessary harm: don’t abuse your damn speakerphone.

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If every software company had their way, this is what your browser would look like:

Fuck you software companies. Nobody likes toolbars. Nobody.

Don’t try to sneak them into our computers, bundling them with your main software, hiding them in “advanced options” boxes, checked by default.

Fuck you.

If I wanted a toolbar, you know what I’d do? I’d download one.

For every software company that I find doing this, I’m going to send them a cake. With a bomb inside. By default.

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